Comments for Advice in Love Relationships

Comment on What causes cheating or sexual infidelity? by Betty Smorgas

Betty Smorgas — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:09:07 +0000

For women infidelity is an act motivated by lack of satisfaction. Let’s face it, we women are much harder to satisfy between the sheets than men, who are satisfied with just a warm hole 99% of the time. We need a good lead up to the bedroom and once in bed is when it gets tricky. I could go on, but why give away all I know on this site?

Comment on What causes cheating or sexual infidelity? by drwelpton

drwelpton — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:34:37 +0000

Paula,
Ideally we would have courses that educate us about relationships in high school and college to add to what we learn from our parents, whose marriage is the model we see, feel, and absorb all through growing up. However, I observe that all of us learn best from our own first hand experience. Unfortunately it is usually through disappointment, failure, and pain that we become motivated to open ourselves to getting help and learning what we need to learn. Thank you for your comment and your concern.

Comment on What causes cheating or sexual infidelity? by PaulaS

PaulaS — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 21:42:01 +0000

I think couples thinking about getting married need to go through therapy and learn these things before they’re ever allowed to get married.

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Comment on Am I in the Right Relationship by drwelpton

drwelpton — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:35:32 +0000

Hello Dawn,
I believe your concerns are well founded and you need to trust yourself and your intuitions. Every marriage brings together different people and some backgrounds are more diverse than others. Your questions about his parents’ unhealthy lifestyle and his lack of education compared to yours can be difficult issues in a marriage, even more so once children are involved.
I recommend you bring these issues up with him gently and slowly, trusting yourself about the timing. As you know, timing is everything.
If your relationship grows more serious, there will be more occasions to keep talking about these differences. Your discussions will let you know whether you can accept your differences and work on them together. He will have different ideas about how to raise children from yours because he was raised differently from you. How well can you discuss these issues? Do you hear each other? Can you come together over them or are you split apart?
Your answers to these questions will allow you to decide whether to marry him or not when the time comes.
My Connecting Conversation ebook with steps to use in talking about touchy subjects with your partner is available for free at my website: http://www.talk2myheart.com. You might find these tips useful for talking with your boyfriend.
My best wishes to you, Dr. Doug

Comment on Am I in the Right Relationship by Dawn

Dawn — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:43:15 +0000

Dr. Welpton,
I am in a relationship with a great guy and we have been together for over a year. He is 30 and I am 28. I few concerns have slipped into my mind. I have no doubt that I want to be with him, but there are a few issues that may pose future issues:
1) He grew up very differently than I, not in a bad way, but we certainly have different backgrounds;
2) His parents have a very unhealthy lifestyle;
3) my boyfriend does not have post secondary education and I have many post secondary degrees.
I do not mean to sound pretentious, but my concerns are if we stay together that these issues will head in child rearing and parenting. Am I over reacting on these issues (I do have a tendency to over think issues). I want a family, but I want to raise a family similar to the way I was raised (which is different from him). I have talked about hints here and there with him, but where we are not even engaged it is a strange conversation.
Any advice you could provide would be helpful.

Comment on Financial infidelity or sexual infidelity: which is worse? by drwelpton

drwelpton — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:42:45 +0000

I recommend you connect with Ruth Houston, who specializes in all the different ways spouses commit financial infidelity. Her website is linked to this website. One link to Ruth is: Take the Financial Infidelity Quiz at http://bit.ly/2ttty to find out. I hope this will help you. I would appreciate knowing what you find out about discovering secret bank accounts. Thank you, Dr. Doug

Comment on Financial infidelity or sexual infidelity: which is worse? by Dana

Dana — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:17:14 +0000

My husband has committed many different forms of financial infidelity throughout our 24 years of marriage. I’ve stayed because of the kids and his “promise…this is the last time”. I’ve had enough. But my question is, how do you find out if your spouse has a secret bank account? I suspect it, but can not find any records of this (like I did the other signs). Is there a way to track down a secret bank account?