Comments on: Financial infidelity or sexual infidelity: which is worse?

By: Debt Management

Debt Management — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 23:19:45 +0000

The truth is sadly, that they are both important. Yet, at the same time I don’t think it should take anybody by surprise. If you look how we are biologically engineered as humans, we value stability as a staple of our needs hierarchy. Financial stability is the instinct of maintenance and comfort while sexual stability covers reproduction. In a relationship, these are both critical elements. I’ve seen both personally – and they are a lot more related than most would bear credit for.

By: drwelpton

drwelpton — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 02:00:36 +0000

Hi Lorraine,
The problem with not forgiving your husband is that you will remain attached to him through the cord of resentment that binds you by remaining angry and resentful.
Forgiving him is for you, to release you from the resentment that otherwise keeps you bound to him and his irresponsible behavior with your finances.
Release yourself and go on. Make the best financial plans you can for putting your kids through college. Your husband needs to be accountable to you and your children for the problems he has created for helping them with college.

By: drwelpton

drwelpton — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 03:02:57 +0000

Lorraine,
The downside of not forgiving your husband is that you hold onto the anger and resentment, and it affects you, your body and nervous system. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the cord of anger and resentment that bonds you to the person who hurt you, in this case your husband. To maintain daily resentment and anger costs you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. You continue to hold your husband accountable for his actions and are aware he could repeat his infidelities, especially if he has not made an amends that includes a commitment to change his ways.

By: Lorraine

Lorraine — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 14:21:37 +0000

I think that financial infidelity is worse than sexual infidelity. My husband committed both and I had forgiven him for most of his actions. However he had piddled away our life savings and in doing so we had accrued a significant amount of credit card debt. We had to contact a Consolidation Credit Counseling company. It became too much to handle and I didn't want to file for bankruptcy knowing we were going to have to put our kids through college soon. He really set us back and I can't forgive him for that.

By: drwelpton

drwelpton — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 16:29:30 +0000

Stacey,
I agree with you that spouses are forgiving and that honesty is worth the risk. Spouses are more forgiving when you take complete responsibility for your wrong doing, as in hiding purchases or credit card debts. Without trust over money marriages are compromised and become less committed if they last. Dr. Doug

By: Secret Credit Cards and Other Marriage Breakers - CBS MoneyWatch.com

Secret Credit Cards and Other Marriage Breakers - CBS MoneyWatch.com — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 13:05:16 +0000

[...] According to the survey, 18% of participants are guilty of this sin. Last summer, I interviewed Dr. Doug Welpton, a Clearwater, Fla. based psychiatrist and family therapist, about financial infidelity. At the [...]

By: drwelpton

drwelpton — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:42:45 +0000

I recommend you connect with Ruth Houston, who specializes in all the different ways spouses commit financial infidelity. Her website is linked to this website. One link to Ruth is: Take the Financial Infidelity Quiz at http://bit.ly/2ttty to find out. I hope this will help you. I would appreciate knowing what you find out about discovering secret bank accounts. Thank you, Dr. Doug

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:17:14 +0000

My husband has committed many different forms of financial infidelity throughout our 24 years of marriage. I’ve stayed because of the kids and his “promise…this is the last time”. I’ve had enough. But my question is, how do you find out if your spouse has a secret bank account? I suspect it, but can not find any records of this (like I did the other signs). Is there a way to track down a secret bank account?

By: Ruth Houston

Ruth Houston — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:48:04 +0000

Financial Infidelity can take many forms. It can range from harmless financial fibbing like lying about how much you spent for a purchase, to serious financial deception like keeping a secret bank account, or major misrepresentation of your financial status. Are you – or your spouse — guilty of financial infidelity? Take the Financial Infidelity Quiz at http://bit.ly/2ttty to find out.
Sometimes financial infidelity can even be a sign of sexual infidelity. More about that at http://bit.ly/hobAS

By: Financial Infidelity: Is Your Marriage at Risk? - CBS MoneyWatch.com

Financial Infidelity: Is Your Marriage at Risk? - CBS MoneyWatch.com — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:33:46 +0000

[...] racked up thousands of dollars in credit card debt can be a marriage killer for some couples, warns Dr. Doug Welpton, a Clearwater, Fla. based psychiatrist and family [...]