First, you have to get clear with yourself. Put on your selfish hat thinking about what feels good for you or best for you. Follow your thinking even if you emotions are in conflict about what’s best for you. You will often find out when you do what is best for you it often turns out to be what is best for your relationship and your partner too. If your partner doesn’t agree, suggest that you have a conversation. Don’t start trying to come to a solution, just focus on having a conversation where you each hear the other’s viewpoint. Often in this process you will find a solution. If not, each of you needs to follow your own bliss and agree to keep talking. Sometimes your separate experiences will lead you to a way to come together.
