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Articles tagged with: blame game

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[9 Feb 2017 | No Comment | ]

The Blame Game I’ve Played
I blame you for hurting me
I’m a victim
I feel sorry for myself
People pity me
I relish their sympathy
I feel they’re on my side
But..I feel helpless
I’ve surrendered my power
Given you the control
Only you can change our relationship
I’m powerless and feel unworthy
I lose my self-respect
Too high a price to pay
I’d rather be responsible.
 
I Take Responsibility
My blaming finger points at you
My three bottom fingers back at me
Holding me accountable
I stop the blame game
I accept responsibility
For everything I’ve said and done
Even what I’ve thought and felt
I now accept my guilt and shame
I embrace …

Relationship Advice »

[26 Feb 2016 | No Comment | ]

A lively monkey and a quiet turtle fell deeply in love and married
Marcie Monkey respected her turtle for being calm, cool, and collected
Titus Turtle adored his monkey for her exuberance and excitement
In time, Marcie complained her turtle didn’t share his feelings
Titus prayed his talkative monkey would restrain herself
Both blamed their partner for the problems in their marriage
Marcie suggested Titus learn to dance and be more talkative
Titus chided Marcie for expressing her every feeling
He wanted to fix her “problem” of having strong emotions
Marcie wanted more sharing from her subdued turtle
Titus sought peace and …

Relationship Advice »

[3 Jan 2016 | 2 Comments | ]

To blame no one but myself,
To take full responsibility
For everything I’ve said or done,
Thought or felt,
Wow!

Relationship Advice »

[23 Nov 2015 | No Comment | ]

You’re to blame, I’m the victim,
Innocent, without guilt,
Helpless, powerless,
Self- respect vanishes.
Confronted with my victimhood,
I ADMIT BLAME,
I SHOULDER RESPONSIBILITY,
FIND EMPOWERMENT,
FEEL LIGHT, NOT HEAVY,
GROW INCHES TALLER.
© Dr. Doug Welpton

Relationship Advice »

[19 May 2015 | No Comment | ]

 Part 4: The Blame Game & Taking Offense at What Others Think of You
 
The next time we met, Steve and Carey sat closer on the royal blue two-cushioned sofa.
“How’s it going?” I asked once they settled.
Steve glanced at the beige Oriental rug, then raised his head. “We’re better. I’ve ended my meetings with Vanessa.”
“Was it painful?” I leaned closer.
He shook his head slowly. “I told her our talks are costing me my marriage.”
“What’d she say?”
“She said she’s married and she understood.”
“How’d you feel about that?”
“I was sad.  It’s a loss.” …

Relationship Advice »

[13 Apr 2015 | No Comment | ]

 Part 3: Boundaries enable you to protect yourself and your partner physically, sexually, and emotionally when you talk
“We need to discuss boundaries,” I said. It was the start our next meeting. “How you establish and maintain them.”
“Boundaries sound like putting up fences,” Steve said.  “I thought we’re working to get closer?”
“It’s paradoxical,” I responded. “Robert Frost said it well: ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’”
“I think I’d feel safer with walls,” Carey said sarcastically. 
Steve rolled his eyes.  “Oh God, here we go again.”
 “Walls give you complete protection, but they disconnect you from …

Relationship Advice »

[19 Dec 2014 | 2 Comments | ]

 
Part 1: The Drama Triangle: Who’s the Victim and Who the Offender?
I met them in the waiting room where they were sitting on the yellow couch upholstered with lively red and blue flowers. They both smiled as we shook hands and walked through the hall into my two room office.  The hall and both rooms are painted in soft peach. The outer room has a salmon colored couch where I asked them to sit to fill out intake forms.  Having completed forms regarding their basic information and self-evaluation on stress, trauma, and alcohol use, I …

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[14 Sep 2014 | No Comment | ]

 What a pain in the ass. Steve, my boss, gave me ten-thousand dollars before he took a leave from the company he owned.  He told me he wanted me to make good use of the money. He was gone for three years. I was scared I’d lose his money, so I put it in a safe.  When he returned I gave him back his money.  He fired me cause I hadn’t put his money to use.
 I told people how cruel he was.   I got some sympathy but not a job. …

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[14 Jul 2012 | 5 Comments | ]

I feel sad when I listen to politicians who want to lead our nation resort to the blame game. The blame game takes two forms: we blame others for what we think, feel, say, or do in the “blame-others” mode. Or, we blame ourselves for what others think, feel, say or do in the “blame-self” mode. With most politicians we do not need to worry about their using the “blame-self” mode because above all else they are at pains to disown any responsibility for …

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[8 Jan 2012 | No Comment | ]

“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged…” (Matthew 7:1-2)
Kelly had a problem trusting her mother, Belle. Growing up she felt like her mother manipulated the truth. When her mother was dishonest she felt queasy in her stomach even though she couldn’t confirm the deceit. As a consequence of being deceived, Kelly’s sense of reality was changeable. She wasn’t sure what to believe or what she could count on.
Kelly’s family is enmeshed; they are …