Advice in Love Relationships

I discuss with Ernestine Hendricks on WTWG 1050 AM how to teach our children through our own lives how to combat excesses and addictions by not giving in to our compulsions–eating, drinking, drugs, sex, gambling, smoking among others. We are the models our children imitate and emulate. We need to develop and maintain well functioning boundaries with ourselves and with others. The famous French philosopher Pascal said that most of man’s problems come from the inability to sit quietly in a room alone. Sitting quietly leads …

Feeling enormous pain, shame, anger, and hurt when you are betrayed by your spouse’s having an affair leads commonly to feeling you want to divorce. Is this the best reaction to follow? Is it what’s best for you? Is it what’s best for your children? Give yourself time enough to calm down and think rationally rather than blindly following your feelings. Ultimately, the decision is yours.
I have counseled many couples who recovered from affairs. Many of them had better marriages because they learned to share more …

Paul Moore and Kim Jones, co-hosts at WVVI, 93.5 FM, ,St. Croix, Virgin Islands discuss with me the challenges of marriage.
It is a challenge to change your dysfunctional mindsets like when you realize you believe a good marriage should not have conflicts or arguments. You avoid discussing the issues that cause you pain and end up getting divorced because your conflicts have not been resolved.
It is a challenge to be a divorced mother and a single parent to your children even while it feels better than remaining in a painful …

Ernestine Hendricks and I discuss common challenges in marriage including infidelity and why marriage is not obsolete on www.WTWGAM1050.com.
Affairs are a prominent cause for divorce in today’s marriages. Affairs arise from disconnection in a marriage. Spouses stop talking with each other, stop sharing what’s important. Women feel loved and valued through the connection that comes with sharing. Men want to feel respected for their opinions and their achievements.
When we stop feeling loved, valued, respected, or appreciated we tend to go elsewhere. We find someone else when …

Being a sex addict is not an excuse for lust or compulsive sex. Admitting you are a sex addict is the first step toward recovery. Recovery is a challenging process of weaning. The addict must learn to give up acting on impulse. He must give up the feeling of entitlement that he has a right to whatever he wants. He has to develop the boundaries and discipline to say ‘no’ to himself before engaging in sex, before touching, …

In their show “The Bottom Line of Romance” my discussion with Larry Arnette and Sharon Stevens discusses sexual and financial infidelity using Tiger Woods affairs as an example.  The sudden shattering of his pristine image has shocked the world and his fans, and the initial cover up has provoked more media attention to the full story and details, creating a conflict between “too much information” and “celebrity gossip.”  With the admission of his affairs Tiger Woods has lost his previous image but freed himself from living a secret double life.  …

Sex addiction is promoted by our society’s focus on lust and the false idea that lust promotes good sex and even love. Sex addiction can be healed through knowledgeable counseling and recovery groups.

Cheating is a symptom that something is missing. Usually the unfaithful partner is feeling: 1) the loss of romance,sex,& excitement. It is easier to fall in love than to stay in love; 2) the lack of connection and communication including the difficulty discussing touchy subjects like money, sex, & in-laws causing emotional distance between partners; 3) wavering self-acceptance and self-esteem causing the unfaithful partner to seek approval, admiration, and esteem from other people. The unfaithful partner may feel superior or inferior to others, neither of which is reliable self-esteem. Affairs …

What got Tiger Woods to throw away what appeared to be a perfect life? Something was missing: do he and Elin talk? Was it his father’s death? Golf as a childhood? His parents’ separation? His wife’s first pregnancy? Can Tiger recover? Can his marriage be saved?

Gary Pozsik, host at WGCV,  interviewed me about Tiger Woods.   He asked: how could someone who had everything, like Tiger,  do what he did?  How can we explain his  affairs?  What might be the consequences for his marriage?  What would I recommend that Tiger and his wife do?