Advice in Love Relationships » finances

Abundance or Scarcity? How to have prosperity for yourself and others.

drwelpton — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 01:54:21 +0000

If you want prosperity believe in your heart in the goal you want. Want for everyone what you want for yourself– wealth, a love relationship, better health or whatever you desire instead of buying into scarcity. Return more in service value than you are paid in cash value. When you do these things you will realize your goal and increase the prosperity of others.

Is Money the root of all evil?

drwelpton — Tue, 03 May 2011 01:50:37 +0000

Ernestine Hendricks, host on WTWG, 1050 AM, and I discuss the beliefs that keep us from creating wealth like our feeling that pursuing money is bad and means we are greedy or dishonest. Money is a form of energy and we earn it through expending physical or mental energy in creating products or doing work that others want. Only when we have saved money can we be financially helpful to others. If we have saved nothing we become dependent on others instead of being helpful to them.
We have mistaken beliefs like money is the root of all evil that interfere with our comfort pursuing wealth. It is not money itself but “the love of money” that can create problems by making money into God in the expression of greed or avarice. Anything that comes between us and God creates evil, but learning how to earn money and have wealth can be used for our own growth and to help others. Addictions to alcohol/drugs, sex, food, gambling, shopping, etc. are expressions of greed and place the object of our addiction ahead of our relationship to God.
Besides our own mistaken mindsets the unintended consequences of political legislation interfere with citizens finding jobs to earn money. While minimum wage legislation appears to support workers with the wages they are earning, it keeps employers who cannot afford those wages from hiring employees. Usually it is the beginning worker, often black youths, who do not get hired for jobs as a consequence of the minimum wage. Minimum wage legislation had its origins in the Davis Bacon Act of 1931 which was used to keep black laborers in the construction unions from getting jobs on government projects. The act prohibited black workers from accepting lower wages than their white counterparts and consequently kept them from being employed.

Marriage is not Obsolete. Commitment Enriches Us.

drwelpton — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 16:50:45 +0000

Dr. Stan Frager and I discuss marriage in today’s world.
Marriage is not obsolete in spite of what Time Magazine and Pew Research say! People are hungrier than ever for committed relationships in our world of distant, impersonal connecting through text messaging and social media. The problem is that we lack good models for lasting marriages based on the accelerated divorce rate that came with easy divorce laws and the Women’s Movement.
The improved financial condition for women meant that financial stability was no longer the primary motivation for remaining married. We ask more of our marriages now in terms of love and happiness than we did in the past. We need to learn the value of commitment. Falling in love is easy. In her famous song “Falling in Love Again” Marlene Dietrich said she did it all the time. Remaining in love is the challenge–it requires commitment: both feet in.
Commitment is how we grow. It teaches us to accept “for better or for worse.” Every relationship has its hard times. The truth is we grow more from what we learn through our difficulties than any other time. For example, in the typical financial conflict in a marriage the saver says: “We can’t afford it.” The spender responds: “We can’t afford not to do it.” The savers may learn that their partners’ spending is what brings the fun and enrichment into their marriages. The spenders, at the same time, may learn that through saving their partners enable them to pay for the fun and enriching experiences. Each brings something the other lacks; together we have more. We must each learn to appreciate our partner’s differences from ourselves.
Either we win together or we lose together. No one can win at their partner’s expense. If you partner loses, you will lose too. Trust me.

Do Love and Money Go Together in a Marriage?

drwelpton — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 15:21:17 +0000

Financial teamwork: avoid “The Gift that Wasn’t”

drwelpton — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:11:47 +0000

Jim had worked hard as a pilot to accumulate enough money to retire. He and Jackie had married seven years ago. It was a second marriage for both of them. Jackie is younger by a dozen years.
Jim wanted to give Jackie a big gift: a studio in which to teach her physical fitness program, a series of video recordings of her teaching students what to do, and a marketing program that would get her videos on several TV stations to attract clients. Jim spent at least fifty thousand dollars of their retirement money on the project.
Jackie made the recordings and they were excellent. However, the man who designed and promised to do their marketing plan failed to carry it out. Jim consulted a lawyer. They filed a lawsuit. Nothing much happened. They learned their consultant had left other clients high and dry. Jim found out it would cost several thousand more dollars of legal expenses to pursue the case in court. Furthermore, it was not clear the marketer had any money for them to recover.
As we reviewed what had happened in this fitness center undertaking, Jackie made clear that Jim had rushed ahead faster than she wanted. She wanted to go slower and take the process of building her business a step at a time. While Jim said he wanted to set up this business as a gift to her, Jackie felt he had another motive: she was to earn money to compensate for what they would be losing when Jim retired. Jim admitted there was truth to what Jackie said. He acknowledged he did move faster than Jackie wanted, and he did want her to earn money to help support them.
The long and the short of it is this: Jim and Jackie did not accomplish their dream of setting Jackie up with a successful physical fitness business because they did not work together. They did not discuss and resolve their differing expectations. They did not take the time and work as a team to vet the marketer they hired. They did not assist each other to set up a pay plan for their marketing campaign rather than pay the marketer in advance. Had they been supporting each other, it would have been easier for them to question and negotiate with the marketer. They could have negotiated making their payments conditional on what he accomplished.
George and Athena had a double income from his dental practice and her work as a physician. They were foresighted in consulting a highly respected financial planner to help them plan how to save and invest for their retirement. However, instead of following the plan each of them went their own way. When we discussing their finances and reviewed their savings for retirement they got a surprise. Both were shocked at how little they had saved. They were nowhere near the goals they had set.
The issues they needed to resolve came out. George felt controlled over money by Athena and her spending. She felt unsupported financially by George and taken advantage of by how much she contributed to pay their family expenses. We talked out these issues and confronted the reality that they needed to start saving rapidly to make up for lost time. They agreed to follow their financial retirement plan without exceptions. Athena and George were fortunate that they still had enough time before retirement to accumulate the funds they needed to retire

The greatest financial plan in the world from the best financial planner does not lead to success when spouses fail to work as a team. Being an outstanding singles tennis player does not automatically mean you will be good at doubles unless you devote yourself to working with your partner.
From my own experience I remember conflicts my wife and I confronted when were adding a sunroom and new kitchen to our home. Our expectations about what we were doing and how much we were willing to spend were different. When we were at cross purposes the contractor made use of our conflicts to advance his goal, which understandably was to make more money by expanding our project.
Once we realized how essential it was for us to agree on what we were doing, we came to a very useful agreement: we would not go forward with our remodeling project until the two of us were in total agreement on each next step we were prepared to take.
The rule worked as we followed it! At times the contractor did not like having to slow down until we were aligned, but the outcome was a highly successful result. We loved our new sunroom and our new kitchen. We felt pleased with the cost of it and with what we had accomplished together. Our marriage was stronger too.

How couples talk successfully about finances and money

drwelpton — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:55:07 +0000

Host Rick Vazquez, author of “The Pizza Delivery Millionaire” and host of the Web Talk Radio show titled “Winning in the Game of Life” discusses with me how couples can talk successfully about their finances. The steps I explain include giving each other a reward for the discussion, learning to appreciate what your partner contributes to your financial process, setting aside the time, talking without criticism or blaming, and using a positive tone while making eye contract. To avoid judgments couples use “I” not “you” statements and limit themselves to just three sentences during their turn to speak. Each commits to something they will start doing immediately to help financially. They can trade off whose purchase they put first each week or each month or however often they agree they can afford the purchase. Giving to your relationship instead of keeping score on purchases can advance your relationship to a new level.

WOCM Radio Host “Bulldog” interviews Dr. Doug Welpton

drwelpton — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:30:52 +0000

Talk Show host “Bulldog” at WOCM interviews Dr. Doug regarding how to attract Love, Sex & Money in a marriage. Money is a leading cause of conflict in marriages. A lack of teamwork on their finances causes problems for spouses with trust, love, and sex. Can two spenders or two savers work together better than a saver and a spender?