Advice in Love Relationships

“Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn.”Benjamin Franklin
Kristen and William came to see me because they were on the verge of divorcing and had not yet been married one year. They were in their thirties. Kristen was about to start styling hair on week-ends as well as during the week so she could better support herself when divorced. She explained there was no reason to spend their week-ends together because there was no fun or enjoyment between them. William agreed.
I asked …

You can change your life no matter how old you are by recognizing the mistaken beliefs (dysfunctional mindsets) that limit you and your relationships.
You have to replace those mistaken beliefs with truths (functional mindsets).
It is not enough to have these new ideas or truths in you thoughts. You must hold them in your heart.
Ernestine Hendricks, the hostess on WTWG 1050 AM, and I discuss examples from my life and from my work with clients.

Matt’s New Job
“Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord…” Ephesians 6:8
Matt phoned me. I had counseled him for more than a year. “Guess what happened?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “What…?”
“My job just got outsourced,” he answered.
“You must be in pain,” I said.
“You bet,” Matt responded. “I can’t figure out how I’m going to support Joan and the kids.”
“How’d it happen?” I asked.
“Paul, the CEO, called me into his office yesterday. He told me …

My good friend Bob Proctor, author of the book You Were Born Rich, sent me an email about taking risks. He quotes William A. Ward about how risks expose us to losses:
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To …

Dr. Stan Frager and I discuss marriage in today’s world.
Marriage is not obsolete in spite of what Time Magazine and Pew Research say! People are hungrier than ever for committed relationships in our world of distant, impersonal connecting through text messaging and social media. The problem is that we lack good models for lasting marriages based on the accelerated divorce rate that came with easy divorce laws and the Women’s Movement.
The improved financial condition for women meant that financial stability was no longer the primary motivation for remaining …

Marriage is not obsolete, especially when you replace your dysfunctional mindsets with beliefs that support your relationship.

Phil was having difficulty being intimate in his marriage. He pulled back from having sex for fear of being rejected. His wife was the one person with whom he shared himself. Without her, he was alone and lonely. He had all his eggs in one basket. Right now he and his wife could not talk without provoking painful feelings in each other. Phil’s responses felt like shaming criticisms to his wife.
As he grew more comfortable …

Dr. Doug Welpton talks with Mike on the Mike Bullard Show about love, good sex, intimacy, and lust. Dr. Doug says we have been sold a bill of goods being led to believe that using sexy videos leads to good sex in relationships and marriage. Lust leads to sexual pleasure and a temporary high, but it does nothing to promote love. A relationship is built on sharing yourself, your thoughts and feelings, with your partner. Lust does not promote intimacy. Sex based on lust is …

Host Rick Vazquez, author of “The Pizza Delivery Millionaire” and host of the Web Talk Radio show titled “Winning in the Game of Life” discusses with me how couples can talk successfully about their finances.   The steps I explain include giving each other a reward for the discussion, learning to appreciate what your partner contributes to your financial process, setting aside the time, talking without criticism or blaming, and using a positive tone while making eye contract.  To avoid judgments couples use “I” not “you” statements and limit themselves to …

Gerry and Joan are like bookends.  He is as loud and talkative as she is quiet and restrained.  When it comes to their finances, as you might expect, he is the big spender and she is the saver.  Gerry works hard and brings home a substantial paycheck.  However, he also loves to spend and he often overspends compared to what he earns.  Joan does her best to constrain him.  She attempts to reason with him about not going into debt just to buy a flashier car.  In general, Gerry sees …