Advice in Love Relationships

Dr. Doug Welpton talks with Mike on the Mike Bullard Show about love, good sex, intimacy, and lust. Dr. Doug says we have been sold a bill of goods being led to believe that using sexy videos leads to good sex in relationships and marriage. Lust leads to sexual pleasure and a temporary high, but it does nothing to promote love. A relationship is built on sharing yourself, your thoughts and feelings, with your partner. Lust does not promote intimacy. Sex based on lust is …

Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and ex-Governor Eliot Spitzer have all had sexual affairs. Sexual addiction appears to have caused them to cheat on their wives at great cost to their marriages, their families, and their careers. Feelings of shame and unworthiness underlie the lust and drive to have compulsive sex as a way to relieve feeling unworthy. Compulsively driven sex and infidelity, however, only cause more shame and feeling worth-less. A vicious circle of inner conflict and torment results. The marriages and careers of the sex addict are diminished or destroyed as a consequence.

Being a sex addict is not an excuse for lust or compulsive sex. Admitting you are a sex addict is the first step toward recovery. Recovery is a challenging process of weaning. The addict must learn to give up acting on impulse. He must give up the feeling of entitlement that he has a right to whatever he wants. He has to develop the boundaries and discipline to say ‘no’ to himself before engaging in sex, before touching, …

Sex addiction is promoted by our society’s focus on lust and the false idea that lust promotes good sex and even love. Sex addiction can be healed through knowledgeable counseling and recovery groups.