Advice in Love Relationships

Matt’s New Job
“Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord…” Ephesians 6:8
Matt phoned me. I had counseled him for more than a year. “Guess what happened?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “What…?”
“My job just got outsourced,” he answered.
“You must be in pain,” I said.
“You bet,” Matt responded. “I can’t figure out how I’m going to support Joan and the kids.”
“How’d it happen?” I asked.
“Paul, the CEO, called me into his office yesterday. He told me …

Heaven or Hell: Where Am I Going? Part 2
“Because with every action, comment, conversation, we have the choice to invite Heaven or Hell to Earth.”
― Rob Bell, author of Love Wins.
A few weeks later Bret called for an appointment.
“You’ll never believe what’s happened,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I’ve been praying and listening,” Bret answered. “Things have really changed.”
“How’ve they changed?” I inquired.
“To begin with my wife forgot to give me a gift on my birthday a couple weeks ago,” Bret said. “I felt really hurt …

Heaven or Hell: Where Am I Going?
“…though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day…. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Corinthians II: 4:16-18
When I counsel a client my goal …

My good friend Bob Proctor, author of the book You Were Born Rich, sent me an email about taking risks. He quotes William A. Ward about how risks expose us to losses:
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To …

I discuss with Ernestine Hendricks on WTWG 1050 AM how to teach our children through our own lives how to combat excesses and addictions by not giving in to our compulsions–eating, drinking, drugs, sex, gambling, smoking among others. We are the models our children imitate and emulate. We need to develop and maintain well functioning boundaries with ourselves and with others. The famous French philosopher Pascal said that most of man’s problems come from the inability to sit quietly in a room alone. Sitting quietly leads …

Ernestine Hendricks, host on WTWG, 1050 AM, and I discuss the beliefs that keep us from creating wealth like our feeling that pursuing money is bad and means we are greedy or dishonest. Money is a form of energy and we earn it through expending physical or mental energy in creating products or doing work that others want. Only when we have saved money can we be financially helpful to others. If we have saved nothing we become dependent on others instead of being helpful to them.
We …

Feeling enormous pain, shame, anger, and hurt when you are betrayed by your spouse’s having an affair leads commonly to feeling you want to divorce. Is this the best reaction to follow? Is it what’s best for you? Is it what’s best for your children? Give yourself time enough to calm down and think rationally rather than blindly following your feelings. Ultimately, the decision is yours.
I have counseled many couples who recovered from affairs. Many of them had better marriages because they learned to share more …

Paul Moore and Kim Jones, co-hosts at WVVI, 93.5 FM, ,St. Croix, Virgin Islands discuss with me the challenges of marriage.
It is a challenge to change your dysfunctional mindsets like when you realize you believe a good marriage should not have conflicts or arguments. You avoid discussing the issues that cause you pain and end up getting divorced because your conflicts have not been resolved.
It is a challenge to be a divorced mother and a single parent to your children even while it feels better than remaining in a painful …

Ernestine Hendricks and I discuss common challenges in marriage including infidelity and why marriage is not obsolete on www.WTWGAM1050.com.
Affairs are a prominent cause for divorce in today’s marriages. Affairs arise from disconnection in a marriage. Spouses stop talking with each other, stop sharing what’s important. Women feel loved and valued through the connection that comes with sharing. Men want to feel respected for their opinions and their achievements.
When we stop feeling loved, valued, respected, or appreciated we tend to go elsewhere. We find someone else when …

Dr. Stan Frager and I discuss marriage in today’s world.
Marriage is not obsolete in spite of what Time Magazine and Pew Research say! People are hungrier than ever for committed relationships in our world of distant, impersonal connecting through text messaging and social media. The problem is that we lack good models for lasting marriages based on the accelerated divorce rate that came with easy divorce laws and the Women’s Movement.
The improved financial condition for women meant that financial stability was no longer the primary motivation for remaining …