Sex addiction, Tiger Woods & therapy, love vs. lust
Our society encourages lust by promoting the belief that it leads to good sex and to love. Playboy, Hustler, Sex in the City, and pornography are supposed to promote good sex. Lust is sex for the high it produces. Lust is about “what can you do for me?” and not about a lasting relationship. Lust does not lead to love or good sex; it leads to more lust.
Young men become visually imprinted by their first sexual experiences and try to re-create them instead of focusing on their partner. Women find that serial sexual encounters lead nowhere–not to the relationship they seek.
Recovery from sex addiction takes time to shift mindsets from trying to recreate the high of a lust based visual memory through progressive steps in which a man (or woman) learns to say “no” to sex, to touching, to flirting, to talking, to looking, to fantasizing until he or she is focused solely on the person they love with all their sexual and romantic feelings.
Tiger Woods has to break through compartmentalizing his life to live an honest life instead of a double life, as do most sex addicts. This requires integrating his feelings and thoughts and will require energy and focus that could easily interfere with his golf performance for months to come. He will need support in his commitment to recovery. Twelve step programs like Sex and love addicts anonymous (SLAA) offer the support needed.
To use my free ebook describing steps you can use, each of which will help you talk about difficult issues like sex, money, lust, or addiction, go to
For my discussion of sex addiction and lust with Host Ray Horner on WARK radio go to: